Missing home

sorry but I can only pour my heartaches in here. I miss home. I want to be home but I can't. I don't know how to clean my mess. I know my fault but it's to late to realize...

For now, all I feel is guilt. Guilt because I left my mother the time I know she still needs me. Guilt because I let people think that I am an responsible woman. I don't now where I am going but I am here at the other end of the bridge and need to cross to know what;s waiting on the other side.

To my mother, I'll be home soon. I'll be back when I'm on top already to prove to you that I can be a better Ayen. I know you miss me already and you're keeping it yourself. But remember that wherever I go, I am always looking forward for our next meeting. I miss you so much and I cried that out every night just to release the pain.

I am all alone now and still looking for myself. Maybe HE planned this for me to be stronger. For me to see where I should belong. I know HE has a plan for me.

I love you mom and I always will.

New Life

Been doing things alone and making it succeed. But this time, I don't know where I am going. I miss my life before where I can enjoy my PC, my room, my collections, my everything without worries and heartbreaks. A simple life that I want to have again. But it's too late. I am all alone now and need to fix a lot of things before going back to where I used to be.

I don't know where I should be going but one things for sure, I'll be looking for a home that will shelter my young heart. For my mother that I hurt most, I'm so sorry for breaking your trust. I am so sorry for the pain. I just want to be happy and now I know that my happiness won't be complete without you by my side. If you only knew how much pain I feel and how I cried knowing that there is no way I can go back. Ta, I love you more than anyone else but I know sorry is not enough for you to forgive me. Now, I am starting all over again. Without him and without anyone else around. It's so hard being alone but I will do my best to be okay. Hope you will be happy without me. Hope that there are chances that my fault will be forgiven. I love you ta and I will always be here for you.

Hope to see you again...
Thanks for the education and the love you offered. You are the best gift from God that I wasted.

I am so sorry for what I did.